Author: natalieinmind

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The effects of Christmas on mental wellbeing

natalieinmind

Whilst putting together my previous post a couple of days ago, I got thinking about the festive period and the effect it has on mental wellbeing. To satisfy my curiosity, I had a browse of online research looking at the relationship between Christmas and mental wellbeing. I found the results of others research to be mixed to say the least. For example, there are articles outlining factors that can have a negative effect on an individuals mental wellbeing such as loneliness (link here) or the dreaded ‘holiday blues’ (more information about this can be found here). But a literature review conducted by Sansone & Sansone (2011) suggests that Christmas doesn’t actually have a negative effect on individuals mental wellbeing. They suggest that at Christmas time, less people are carrying out self-harm behaviour or suicide attempts when compared to other points in the year (link to this here).

I thought it would be interesting to carry out a quick survey to find out peoples views on Christmas and how it effects them mentally. I posted a survey online which contained two questions for people to fill in. The first question asked people to indicate what effect they felt the Christmas period had on their mental wellbeing. The second question encouraged individuals to explain the reasoning behind their first answer. 189 participants kindly took part in this survey, and an outline of the results are below:

The chart shows that for most, the Christmas period does appear to have some affect on their mental wellbeing (only 11% stated that there was no effect). Like the research I had found earlier, there was mixed results, with relatively even numbers of people experiencing good and bad effects to their mental health. Some individuals stated that they experienced both good and bad effects to their mental wellbeing during the Christmas period.

When looking at the reasons given for their answers, the top five ways in which individuals felt the holidays have a good impact on their mental wellbeing are below:

  1. Family – This was by far the most common reason people stated for boosts to their mental wellbeing. Some individuals enjoyed being in the presence of their family and catching up with people they hadn’t seen in a while.
  2. The Christmas spirit – Everyone generally appears to be more upbeat at this time of year. For some individuals, this feeling of cheer and unity was found to have a positive impact on their mental wellbeing.
  3. Decorations – Seeing tree lights, tinsel and glitter made some individuals feel instantly happier.
  4. Break from work – Some individuals appreciated the extra time in bed in the morning and the break from the pressures of their job
  5. Time to relax – Just having extra time to do things they enjoy and look after themselves.

Conversely, the top five ways in which people felt the holidays have a bad impact on their mental wellbeing are below:

  1. Family – This was a very common response, with a lot more individuals giving this as a main contributing factor to their poor mental wellbeing during the Christmas period. Some felt the pressure of having to make conversation with relatives, others just felt that being around all their family tended to lead to stressful events and negative interactions happening.
  2. Financial stresses – Individuals wallets and bank accounts felt the strain of having to take part in Christmas. This strain can lead to stress.
  3. Gifts – One person labelled this as ‘gift anxiety’, individuals were worried what gifts to buy everyone and making sure that these were appropriate.
  4. Missing loved ones – Some individuals are separated from their loved ones and this time of year reminds them that they are not here anymore.
  5. Stress – This covered individuals feeling stressed and pressured to carry out family traditions and other obligations that arise at this time of year.

I found the results above to be very interesting, especially the fact that family is both the most common factor in both of the top five lists. I think this really stresses that everyones minds are different and their own; what some really relish in doing may not be another persons idea of a good time.

I find myself relating to items from both lists and generally I feel that overall Christmas time results in mixed effects for my mental wellbeing. I would like to know what effect do the holidays have on your mental wellbeing? Are there any tips you would give to help others who may be struggling?

Advice and tips

The most wonderful time of the year? – Looking after your mental wellbeing at Christmas

natalieinmind

The twinkling of Christmas lights, the sound of Bublé in the air and the sight of some truly terrible jumpers, Christmas can really be the most delightful time of the year. But despite this, it can still be a difficult time for those who suffer from anxiety disorders.

My anxiety wasn’t present during the first 15 or so years of my life. I guess Christmas was just exciting to me back then. Nowadays I find myself needing to look after my mental wellbeing more at this time of year. Things like gift buying, seeing people I haven’t seen in a long time and just other general stress at this time can have a knock on effect on my anxiety and mental well-being in general.

I thought in this post I could offer some tips on how to cope with the festive period if your mental wellbeing tends to suffer. These tips are by no means proven, they are based on my own previous experiences and having to learn to cope with my own anxieties at this time of year:

You are what you eat

For some this may not be the case, but I find that my anxiety tends to behave a little better the healthier I eat. This time of the year is associated with lots of delicious, but somewhat unhealthy food. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t eat all the exciting festive offerings (I’m not a total Scrooge), but I’ve found it to be beneficial to try and tame general indulgences. I’ve found this to be really helpful when it comes to things like caffeine and alcohol. It’s about getting that perfect balance between having fun but also considering the effects on consuming certain things on your mental well-being. Understanding your limits can really help, for example I’m happy to have a traditional glass of champagne, but I’ll always stop at one.

Have a break (Kit Kat is optional)

It’s totally normal for Christmas to be overwhelming at times, even for those that don’t struggle with their mental wellbeing. It’s important to take regular time out for yourself, this is definitely not a selfish thing to do. I will often take time out to do something I enjoy for a little while (for me it’s reading). Doing something that you personally enjoy can be a great way of eradicating or easing any negative feelings that you may be having at the time.

Be a lover not a fighter

Accept how you feel and stop working against yourself. No two people think and feel the same, what a boring place the world would be if that was the case. It’s okay to feel how you do. If you don’t feel festive, totally fine. Not in the mood to have in-depth conversations with relatives you see once a year? Then don’t. I fought against my own feelings for years and felt terrible because of the way I’ve behaved and felt in certain situations. Give yourself a break (it’s Christmas after all). Just accept that you feel how you do. If you become anxious, don’t fight it, I’ve found this to actually make the feelings worse. Instead, accept the anxiety and understand that the feelings will subside, like a storm in the ocean. Don’t let others tell you how you should be feeling, they aren’t in your body.

Keep active

It’s pretty common knowledge that exercise has positive effects on mental well-being. But as the nights draw in and the temperature drops, it can be difficult to keep active. Ensure that you do a little something each day, even if this is a short walk outside. Your mental well-being may thank you for it.

Keep your fire burning

I think this is my most important advice. It’s so easy to work your mental health into the ground these days, but this burnout can be detrimental and difficult to come back from. If you can sense that you are struggling the do something to help. This could be talking to someone, or delegating things in order to reduce stress. Don’t worry about being a burden by putting things on your friends and family, if they love you, they honestly won’t mind. It personally took me a while to realise this and be comfortable in asking others for help.

So remember, check in with yourself and your mental wellbeing on a regular basis and don’t be afraid to avoid anything which will have a negative impact on this. It’s not being selfish, it’s called self care.

To all my blog readers, I wish you all good health and a pleasant Christmas! 🙂

research

Sadfishing – the latest social media trend or something more sinister?

natalieinmind

The other week, I was watching daytime TV (something I rarely do these days actually) and there was a panel discussion show on. I heard them mention a word that I’d never heard before – sadfishing. On the TV show they had a discussion about it and the impact it can have on young people’s mental health. Watching this got me intrigued to know more about this latest social media behaviour and understand exactly how and why it can have such a detrimental effect on the mental wellbeing of some individuals.

So what is sadfishing? Put simply, sadfishing involves an individual posting an emotional message on social media in an apparent attempt to attract sympathy or hook an audience. They often exaggerate their feelings in order to elicit a desired response. This term was coined at the beginning of 2019 in response to Kendall Jenner sharing her ‘raw story’ and ‘awful’ past skin experiences on Instagram in order to encourage people to buy Proactiv, a type of skin care product [3].

An example of ‘sadfishing’

The phenomenon has also been used by other celebrities, with Justin Bieber recently telling his 119 million Instagram followers: “It’s hard to get out of bed in the morning when you are overwhelmed with your life.” These behaviours are starting to be copied by young people, with some of them being more open to sharing their sadness and mental health woes online.

But the uprise of this latest social media trend appears to be affecting the mental health of some individuals. Digital awareness UK recently released a report stating that the uprise in sadfishing is making it difficult for young people who are facing genuine mental health difficulties to seek online support [2]. They surveyed 50,000 teenagers (aged 11 – 16) and they found that for most of them who had posted something regarding their mental wellbeing, they had faced being bullied as a consequence of their post. This lack of online support may leave young people feeling disappointed can subsequently make their emotional or mental health problems worse. 

Sadfishing can also lead to a person becoming addicted, they crave the attention that they get from their actions [1]. If they don’t get the attention they desired, this could have a detrimental impact on their mental wellbeing. Sadfishing behaviours may result in individuals oversharing information, which can leave them vulnerable, as sometimes complete strangers may be reading what they post. The digital awareness report [2] describes a case study where a teenage girl who, after posting about her depression online, was approached by a friend of a friend who shared their experiences in a supportive manner. But this relationship soon turned sour, and ended up with him pressuring her to send explicit pictures.

In response to the information above I thought I would conduct a short survey to see if sadfishing is something that is still currently happening and try to understand the effect it has on the individuals carrying out these behaviours. I created a survey which I posted on Reddit, the results of which are quite interesting. 82 people completed the survey, all of which were under 30 years old.

When struggling with mental wellbeing or feeling sad, 26% of people stated that they were likely to post about it on social media. 27% of people indicated that they had posted about their mental wellbeing on social media when they had been struggling in the past. Of these people, the diagram below highlights what kind of response they were expecting from posting such information online:

What kind of response participants wanted

Compare this to the actual responses they state they have received:

An overview of actual responses received

When asked what effect sharing this information on social media had on their social media:

23% said it had a positive effect on their mental wellbeing.

27% said it had a negative effect on their mental wellbeing.

45% said it had neither a positive or negative effect on their mental wellbeing.

This survey is far from scientific quality, but I feel it outlines the role that social media plays as a method of communicating when an individual may be struggling with their mental health. I found it interesting that 1 in 5 of the people that posted information didn’t expect any response to it, almost like the process of posting was more of a cathartic release for them. I also feel the results show the difference in the effects of posting to social media on each individuals mental wellbeing. It would be interesting to investigate this further to understand what factors influence the effect of posts on mental wellbeing.

References:
[1] https://www.jameshornsby.essex.sch.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Sadfishing.pdf
[2] https://www.bbntimes.com/en/companies/sadfishing-the-latest-toxic-social-media-trend
[3] https://metro.co.uk/2019/01/21/sadfishing-social-media-trend-making-misery-profitabl-8367931/

My Experiences

Are we all bus drivers?- a mental wellbeing metaphor

natalieinmind

This week I was travelling on a bus. Whilst travelling I observed something which I felt was such a fitting metaphor for mental wellbeing that I feel I should share it. In a way I love bus journeys. I live in a fairly rural place, so when I’m on the bus I’m usually looking out the window to be greeted with serene scenes of fields, livestock and wildflowers. I find that travelling down country lanes is so often suitably calming.

On this particular morning, I was sat at the back of the bus, watching the world pass by on the outside. There was a variety of passengers on the bus, all varying in their appearances and ages; there was a small child in a pram talking to its mother about big dogs, next to an elderly gentlemen reading the days news in the Guardian. Although full of different people, there was a peaceful equilibrium as the bus drove peacefully through the lanes. As the bus progressed, it picked up and dropped off people, still maintaining its peaceful environment.

But at one stage of the journey a young couple got on. They sat down and started a heated discussion, apparently the guy had been seeing someone else and hadn’t told his partner. This argument got louder and more aggressive between the two as the journey went on, and the environment began to feel hostile. Although things in the back of the bus were beginning to become nasty between the couple, the bus driver still had to drive on. They couldn’t pull over because it wasn’t safe to do so. Also the driver had to keep to the set timetable, so they just carried on driving, transporting this negative energy with them. While all this was happening, a bus passed on the opposite side of the road. The bus drivers shared a friendly hello gesture and a smile as they passed each other, irrespective of the events happening in the back of their vehicles that they were transporting around.

At this point I found myself reflecting upon this, comparing the bus to an individuals mind. The chaos that ensues inside an individuals mind is not totally visible to those outside, similar to that of the events on the bus. Irresponsive to the events on the bus, the driver presents a positive face to other drivers as they pass. I feel this to be representative of the face that an individual presents to others. For some who are living with mental distress, they may feel the need to cover this up, often appearing smiley and cheery to others, regardless of their actual feelings. We are all bus drivers in a sense; travelling with our own passengers and events going on. I just found this metaphor to be so fitting I felt I had to share.

So be kind to your fellow bus drivers, even if you can’t see inside their vehicle very well. You just never know what chaos they may be having to handle inside.

Advice and tips, My Experiences

Social anxiety and coping with job interviews

natalieinmind

Earlier this week I had a job interview, the first one that I’d actually had in a little while. For me, interviews send my anxiety into complete overdrive. I become hyper aware of myself and the fact that in this situation I am actively being judged. Being this aware can lead me to being extra cautious of what I’m saying for fear of coming across badly. This was the exact case during this job interview, I found myself struggling to speak and at times my mind completely blanked out (another common behaviour I’ve experienced with my anxiety).

Safe to say, I didn’t get the job. One of the interviewers stated the reason being because I didn’t explain myself thoroughly when I was talking, and I actually agree with them. My anxiety was really prominent during the interview but I’m proud that I came through it in one piece and this is the positive I take away from the experience.

Reflecting on this experience, I thought I would benefit from looking up some advice about coping with job interviews when you suffer from anxiety. I thought I could share the advice I find in the hope it can help others who also struggle with similar issues to myself.

How you feel is completely normal

Being confronted by an interview panel, anyone is bound to be nervous. For me, my anxiety can make me feel so isolated and alone at times. But in this situation, accepting that anxiety is a completely natural feeling is the first step towards working with it. Some of the sources I read even suggest that you shouldn’t be afraid of anxiety and that it could even be harnessed to your advantage. The adrenaline caused by anxiety may actually be beneficial when you’re in a job interview situation. For me personally, I think adopting this viewpoint may be of benefit.

Seeing Success

There’s a technique suggested which draws upon theory surrounding positive thinking. It states that those who are prone to anxiety should take some time out in a quiet spot to visualise themselves being successful before the interview. It is claimed that if done properly, this visualising technique may actually be preparing your mind to behave in a certain way during the interview. I think this technique is quite interesting and it’s used by elite athletes before competitions to improve performance, so I might give it a try myself.

Slow and steady wins the race

During job interviews, my anxiety results in a tendency to want to answer questions as quickly as possible. But on reflection, one of the websites I found stressed that there’s no need to rush with responses. If you pause before giving your answer, it gives you a chance to collect your thoughts and this could stop your mind going completely blank while you’re talking. If your mind does go blank, ask for a moment to collect your thoughts. Or you could even ask the interviewer a question to buy yourself a little more time to think (like “as a matter of fact, I was thinking…”). I think with anxiety, the fear of blanking out can almost be enough to cause it to actually happen. I find this advice reassuring and will definitely try it in the future.

Get outside yourself

Anxiety can make an individual become very self-conscious, I myself am particularly susceptible to this. One way of getting around this is to move your focus onto others. Some sources have explained how you can do this by asking others questions (like asking the receptionist or interviewer how they are) and being empathic to their answer. Actively engaging with others, although this can be difficult, may actually help an individual with anxiety to feel calmer.

Another way of shifting the focus comes back to the practise of interviewing the interviewer. This mindset involves you realising that job interviews are also a chance for you to evaluate your employer. You are as much deciding if the job is suitable for you as the employer is deciding if you are suitable for the job. Asking them questions shows curiosity and shifts the focus from yourself.

Although I found lots of advice that I personally feel will be helpful, there was also a lot of advice on the internet which I felt to be quite patronising. Some advice was the standard ‘just be calmer and breathe’ (like that’s an easy thing to do when you’re on the edge of a panic attack). I even found advice that suggested you ensure to wash your hands before each interview to reduce anxiety (I have no idea either).

I think reflecting on my experience this week it just comes down to practise makes perfect. Sometimes I really hate anxiety, but I feel the only way for me to personally address mine is to expose myself to it as often as possible to give me a chance to accept it and work with it. I aim to learn from my job interview experience and keep challenging myself to do more. I hope this article is useful to some of you who may be struggling with similar issues to me.

Here’s a list of websites I found useful and drew upon:
https://www.verywellmind.com/tips-cope-with-job-interview-anxiety-3024324
http://overcomingsocialanxiety.com/why-you-can-still-face-job-interviews-even-with-social-anxiety/
https://introvertdear.com/news/interview-socially-anxiety-introvert/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/career-transitions/201503/10-ways-calm-your-interview-anxiety

My Experiences

Meet Rosie – How getting a dog helped my mental health

natalieinmind

Hey everyone, I hope you are all doing well and having a lovely week.

I thought for this post I could introduce you to my best four-legged friend called Rosie. Here she is:

Rosie’s a cockapoo and she loves nothing more than eating, chasing squirrels and having a nap. My family decided to get her a couple of years ago and she’s a rescue dog. At this point in my life my mental health was really suffering, I was generally very anxious and would experience panic attacks on a regular basis. I didn’t know it at this point, but having a dog in my life was to change my mental wellbeing for the better. I feel so lucky to have met Rosie and I thought in this post I could discuss some of the reasons why I think getting a dog had a benefit on my mental wellbeing.

Her love is unconditional

Rosie shows me love and affection, no matter what I look like. She loves me as much first thing in the morning as when I am fully dressed up. I’m someone who has a lot of personal hang ups and anxieties about my appearance, so I find this so comforting. It’s definitely helped me to accept how I look without my make-up on and I even feel more confident in showing others my bare face now too.

She provides a distraction

When I start to feel anxious, I make some time to spend time with her. Just playing with or walking her is a great distraction for me and helps me to remove my focus from whats making me anxious. She is very good at bringing me back to the present moment. I can enjoy my time with her, which stops me worrying about the future and the anxiety that surrounds this.

She unintentionally makes me smile everyday

When I’m struggling with my mental health, it can feel really desperate at times and it feels like nothing will make me feel happy ever again. Since getting Rosie, I’ve noticed that I smile more often and that these are genuine smiles of joy. Everyday she never fails to bring a little bit of happiness to my life, whether that be from her funny ‘wobbling’ walk or her determination to carry as many of her toys as possible in her mouth all at once.

She’s a great companion

As they say, a dog is a mans best friend. I work from home a lot and this comes with its own sense of loneliness. I’m okay with the concept of solitude, but my anxiety is not. When I’m alone I find my mind can go into overdrive and I’m more likely to start thinking irrationally. Rosie spends most days at home with me and I find her company relaxing. She has a laid-back approach to life and spends a lot of the day asleep, but just knowing that she’s here with me is so reassuring.

She’s one tough cookie

Rosie hasn’t had the best start in life, but she’s still here and loving life. Seeing her thirst for life and all that it brings is such an inspiration to me. It might sound a bit silly to say I’m inspired by a dog, but it’s the way she attacks her fears and faces them head on. Granted that a lot of the time she doesn’t have a choice in what she does (for example, each month she goes to the groomers, a situation of which causes her great anxiety), the fact is that she gets through these experiences. This has encouraged me to face a few more situations that would normally cause my anxiety to kick in. I just try to think of all the experiences and situations that Rosie has overcome in her life and this gives me a strong feeling of strength to carry on.

Overall, I’m so grateful to have met Rosie and I hope that I bring as much joy into her life as she does into mine.

Do any of you have pets? and if so what effect have they had on your wellbeing? I’d love to know.

research

Mental Illness Awareness Week – What exactly is mental health stigma?

natalieinmind

So this week (6th – 12th October) is Mental Illness Awareness Week. I thought in this post I could talk about one of the biggest issues for people living with mental health problems – the stigma surrounding it. I’ll be honest, I’ve never fully understood what the word ‘stigma’ actually means. I’ve assumed it is something to do with negative associations, but I’m curious to find out more. I thought I could add to the discussions this week by raising awareness of mental health stigma, what it is and the effect it has on the individuals whom it is directed towards. Hopefully others will find the information I uncover as insightful as I do.

The actual word stigma is derived from the greek word ‘stizein’. A stizein was known as a distinguishing mark that was branded into the flesh of slaves or criminals so that others would know who they were and that they were less-valued members of society (1). Because of the markings, these individuals were often avoided by others in public spaces (2).

A common definition provided by Erving Goffman in 1963 describes stigma as ‘an attribute that is deeply discrediting’ and reduces an individual ‘from a whole and usual person to a tainted, discounted one’ (2). Other researchers have built upon this initial work to define stigma as ‘stereotypes or negative views attributed to a person or groups of people when their characteristics or behaviours are viewed as different from or inferior to societal norms.’ (3).

Types of stigma

I found out that there are many different types of stigma when it comes to mental health. The main three being discussed were public stigma, self-stigma and label avoidance, although there are others.

Public stigma involves some individuals within the general population endorsing the stereotypes of mental illness they are presented with in their environment (this could be stereotypes presented from the media or from their peers). These individuals then act in a discriminatory manner towards the stigmatised, so an example would be an individual refusing to work with a person with mental illness because they think they might be dangerous.

Self-stigma is when an individual with mental illness discriminates against themselves. An individual can become aware of the stereotypes that others have attached to others with mental illnesses. They then start to agree with the stereotype and apply it to themselves. This type of stigma can lead to devastating effects on an individual’s self-esteem and self-efficacy, making them believe they aren’t good enough or worthy of what other people have (4).

Label avoidance refers to a type of stigma that results from an individual being publicly labeled through association. In the context of mental health an example would be if an individual was seen leaving a psychiatrist’s office, others may think she’s crazy. This type of stigma can have a negative impact on those suffering from mental health issues, as it may deter them from seeking the help that they need.

Effects of stigma for those with mental health issues

There are a number of ways that stigma can have an effect on individuals experiencing mental illness. Here are just a few I found:

Those with mental health issues may fall victim to prejudice, as others may make preconceived opinions on them that have no factual back-up. A study carried out found the top three misconceptions about mental health patients to be that they are dangerous and violent; that they have a low IQ or are developmentally handicapped and that they cannot function or hold a job (5). The strange thing is, studies have shown evidence to dispel these claims of violence and handicap, but people still have misconceptions.

As a result of these misconceptions, those with mental health conditions can fall victim to social distancing. This is where people are unwilling to associate with a person with mental illness. For example, others may turn down offers to meet up for a coffee with someone they believe to have a mental illness (6).

As a result of prejudice and social distancing, those with mental health issues may feel isolated from society. Sadly, the Queensland Alliance for Mental Health observed that people with mental health problems are “frequently the object of ridicule within the media” which does nothing to help the feelings of rejections individuals may feel from society (7). 

Stigma can also lead to internalised discrimination, where an individual suffering with their mental health starts to believe in the stereotypes and misconceptions placed upon them. This leads them to assume they are rejects socially and this has a massively negative impact on their perceived self-worth (8).

Although work is taking place to get rid of mental health stigma, there is still a long way to go. Unfortunately, we still live in a world where some people see having a mental illness as a sign of weakness. Personally, I think some of the strongest people I know are those who are able to live their day to day lives despite their mental health issues. Also, having a mental health issue does not make anyone less worthy or capable.

Have you ever experienced any mental health stigma during your life? Also what do you think can be done to help remove the current stigma?

References

  1. Arboleda-Flórez, J. (2003). Considerations on the stigma of mental illness.
  2. Goffman, E. (2009). Stigma: Notes on the management of spoiled identity. Simon and Schuster.
  3. Dudley, J. R. (2000). Confronting stigma within the services system. Social Work, 45(5), 449.
  4. Corrigan, P.W., Rafacz, J., Rüsch, N., (2011). Examining a progressive model of self-stigma and its impact on people with serious mental illness. Psychiatry Research 189, 339–343.
  5. Canadian Mental Health Association, Ontario Division. (1994) Final report. Mental health anti-stigma campaign public education strategy. 
  6. Corrigan P et al (2001) Prejudice, social distance, and familiarity with mental illness. Schizophrenia Bulletin; 27: 219-226.
  7. Queensland Alliance for Mental Health (2010) From Discrimination to Social Inclusion. A Review of the Literature on Anti Stigma Initiatives in Mental Health.
  8. Livingston JD, Boyd J (2010) Correlates and consequences of internalized stigma for people living with mental illness: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Social Science and Medicine; 7: 2150-2161.

My Experiences

A story for those experiencing rejection – is it fate?

natalieinmind

Rejection hurts, there’s no two ways about it. Whether it be career, love or family related, rejection can have a detrimental impact on our mental health. Rejection can make us feel sad and lower our own perceived self-worth. It can even effect our behaviours, as we may even avoid putting ourselves in situations where we feel vulnerable and exposed to it. I have been through my fair share of rejections throughout my life and to be honest, I always find it tough to pick myself back up and carry on. But I am a believer that there is always a reason for rejection, we just don’t see it.

I’m aware that some people won’t believe in fate or concepts like that and I’m not even sure I believe in it fully. I thought I would share my own personal story that changed my views on the world and in particular the way I viewed rejection. I was 18 and full of the joys of life. I was in sixth form and in my spare time I enjoyed playing with my band and practising riffs on my Fender (I used to be too cool). It was that stage of life where I felt I would like to get a part time job; I wanted a bit of extra money (the pocket money just wasn’t cutting it anymore) and I thought it would look good on the old curriculum vitae. There was a music shop by where I lived that was advertising for a part time sales assistant to help out at weekends. I dropped off my CV and I received a call later that day from the store owner asking if I would be available to come to the store and have a chat.

So the next day I visited the store, my dad dropped me off and waited outside. As I entered I was mesmerised by all of the different guitars the shop had (it felt like the nearest thing to heaven to me at the time). I met the owner, a youngish guy (I’d say early twenties) who showed me around the store and then asked me a variety of the standard job interview questions (‘why would you like the job’, ‘what can you offer’ and so on). I left feeling optimistic and already spending the money I was yet to earn on fancy guitar cables and some fluffy purple socks I had seen earlier that day.

A week or so later, I arrived home from school and my parents told me that the music shop had called. Sadly they had offered the job to someone else. I was upset at the time, I think I just went up to my room after dinner and listened to some music all night on my Sony walkman. A couple of weeks later I found a job working for a popular fast food restaurant, so it all worked out in the end and I was able to get those fluffy socks!

It’s a couple of years later now, I’m at university and visiting my parents for the weekend. I turn on the TV and the local news is on. They are talking about a young woman who was kidnapped and kept in an underground dungeon for a week until she was eventually found. Apparently she was kept tied up in a coffin with no light or food, it was really uneasy to watch. They showed a picture of where the girl was held hostage and my heart stopped. It was the music shop that I had visited. They showed a picture of the captor and it was the store owner that I had met, at this point I felt physically sick.

I was so overwhelmed at the time I wasn’t able to take it all in, so I looked for a local news article online about it. Apparently the woman was working part time at the shop when she was kidnapped and held hostage. She had applied at the same time that I had and she had got the job I applied for, I felt a chill run down my spine. She was bound, handcuffed and held prisoner for a number of days, I can’t imagine the pain that she was going through at the time. The shop owner eventually was sent to prison indefinitely for what he did.

I felt like I had a lucky escape, the owner seemed so nice when I met them, but I guess you can never truly know a person. I’ve never known what to make of this event in my life, I feel like it’s the closest to fate that I’ve experienced. It just makes me feel so shaken even now thinking back to it, that could’ve easily been me but thankfully it wasn’t. At the time that rejection hit me so hard, but it’s only years later that I realised that it was a blessing in disguise.

Ever since then, I’ve viewed rejection differently. Sure it hurts at the time and it’s upsetting, but maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. There may be reasons for the rejection that we don’t understand or that won’t come to light for a while but we have to carry on with our lives the best we can.

I guess you just have to trust in yourself that everything will work itself out in the end.

Have you had any experiences with rejection and fate? I would love to start a discussion below 🙂

My Experiences, research

When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping – The effect of retail therapy on mental health.

natalieinmind

This week I’ve been intrigued by the concept of ‘Retail Therapy’. I’m sure we’ve all been there, you’ve had a slightly rubbish week and you decide to go out and treat yourself to a new toothbrush, rug or whatever your heart desires at the time. To get scientific for a minute, previous researchers have defined Retail therapy as ‘The use of shopping and buying as a way to repair or alleviate negative feelings’ [1]. Others consider retail therapy to be the consumption of goods to compensate for feeling such as low self-esteem or perceived loss of power [2]. 

Looking further into previous research, studies have highlighted the benefits of retail therapy on an individuals mental health. For example, a study conducted in 2011 [1] found the act of shopping to have a positive effect for those experiencing a low or upset mood. Further to this, afterwards they found that the individuals did not regret spending money on these ‘self-treats’. 

But why exactly does the act of shopping have such a benefit on our mental health? Previous researchers have suggested the following reasons why:

It gives you a sense of control – Sadness can be associated with a perceived deficiency in personal control over one’s environment [3]. When we feel that our lives are out of our control, shopping can help restore a sense of personal control which can reduce sadness and negative feelings. When we shop, we are faced with making choices; researchers have stressed this as a good way of increasing an individual’s sense of personal control [4].

It’s a social activity – Like the old saying goes, misery sure does love company. When individuals are feeling sad, research has shown their desire for social connectedness to be higher than normal [5]. For some, going outside and physically shopping will provide them with social interactions which may help improve their mood [6]. 

It provides a distraction – Visiting a store is an experience, with plenty of smells, sounds and sights to be seen. All of this sensual stimulation can lead to shopping being perceived as a source of positive distraction [7]. While we are shopping, we can forget about our worries and anxieties for a little while.

It can be exciting – People get joy from how unpredictable some elements of shopping can be. Sometimes you don’t know what you are going to buy and this can lead to excitement and anticipation [8]. In addition to this, the process of shopping releases dopamine, a neurochemical which makes us feel happy and is responsible for the ‘high’ individuals may experience.

But not all previous research paints retail therapy in a positive light. Some researchers have questioned the appropriateness of shopping as a coping method, labelling it as ineffective and wasteful [9]. They argue that it can’t be the best coping mechanism, as most individuals do not have an endless supply of money.

For some individuals, the ‘buzz’ that they feel from buying things can become an addiction. Shopping addiction (also known as oniomania) is described as an addiction where an individual invests excessive time and resources to shop. People with oniomania are always chasing the next ‘high’, that sensation they feel from buying something new. Like any addiction, oniomania  really can have desperate consequences for individuals. It can lead to them losing their financial security or a losing their own feelings of self control. It can even have a detrimental impact on their relationships as they are likely to neglect these in place of craving their next shopping session.

Personally, I’ve always understood how shopping can be an addictive activity, especially now with the creation of online shopping which doesn’t help those with an unhealthy urge to shop. Reflecting on the research that I’ve found surrounding retail therapy and shopping addiction, I’ve decided to set myself a personal challenge. In the UK during October some people decide to give drinking up for the month, it’s known as ‘going sober for October’. I thought I’d put my own twist on this (bear with me) and decide to give up shopping for material and unneeded objects for a whole month, so I’m going sober in my own kind of way…

I know this is going to be tough and I don’t know how I’m going to reward myself for completing this (buying myself something to celebrate feels slightly inappropriate). I’ll keep you updated on my progress throughout the month.

So, what are your own shopping habits and what links do you think they have to your own mental health? I’d be interested to know. 

References:

  1. Atalay, A. S., & Meloy, M. G. (2011). Retail therapy: A strategic effort to improve mood. Psychology & Marketing, 28(6), 638-659.
  2. Woodruffe-Burton, H., & Elliott, R. (2005). Compensatory consumption and narrative identity theory. ACR North American Advances.
  3. Smith, C. A., & Ellsworth, P. C. (1985). Patterns of cognitive appraisal in emotion. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 48(4), 813–838
  4. Inesi, M. E., Botti, S., Dubois, D., Rucker, D. D., & Galinsky, A. D. (2011). Power and choice: Their dynamic interplay in quenching the thirst for personal control. Psychological Science, 22(8), 1042–1048.
  5. Gray, H. M., Ishii, K., & Ambady, N. (2011). Misery loves company: When sadness increases the desire for social connectedness. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 37(11), 1438-1448.
  6. O’Guinn, T. C., & Faber, R. J. (1989). Compulsive buying: A phenomenological exploration. Journal of Consumer Research, 16, 147–157.
  7. Kang, M., & Johnson, K. K. (2010). Let’s shop! Exploring the experiences of therapy shoppers. Journal of Global Fashion Marketing, 1(2), 71-79.
  8. Falk, P. & Campbell, C. (1993). The Shopping Experience. Sage Publications, London.
  9. Kasser, T., & Sheldon, K. M. (2000). Of wealth and death: Materialism, mortality salience, and consumption behavior. Psychological Science, 11(4), 348–351.
research

‘Makeup’ your mind – The relationship between cosmetics and mental health

natalieinmind

Last week it was reported that the boss of L’Oreal, Jean-Paul Agon claimed Instagram is good for business, as it makes young women buy more make-up in an attempt to look like the filtered selfies they post. In an interview, Mr. Agon said the following:

“The more you make yourself look really great online, the more you have to work on yourself when you go out, because if, when people meet you, they discover that you are completely different from what they thought, then you have a problem.”

This quote has upset some individuals and I totally understand why. To me it suggests that young women need to be striving to look like instagram filters, which is not a beneficial mentality to have. The careless comments like the one made by Mr. Agon only add to the pressure that individuals already feel to live up to their digital appearance. This pressure is something which may be having a negative effect on their mental health.

Personally, I think the comments made were highly inappropriate and unprofessional, but it got me wondering about the relationship between makeup and mental health. As an individual who suffers from body dysmorphic disorder (I wrote a post explaining what this is in more detail here), I feel that makeup definitely has an effect on how I feel and my overall well being. Whilst researching I found out the following effects makeup can have on an individuals mental health:

It may increase confidence (and even cognitive ability?)

There is a psychological phenomenon known as the ‘lipstick effect’, which states that wearing makeup can lead to women feeling more confident. One study (1) found that women think of themselves as being more confident when they are wearing their makeup as opposed to going bare-faced. In addition to this, researchers from Harvard Medical School conducted a study (2) and found that women who applied makeup before completing a test experienced a greater boost to their positive feelings when compared to women who weren’t wearing makeup. On top of this, the women wearing makeup were actually found to perform significantly better on the test than their non makeup wearing counterparts. These results regarding cognitive ability really are astounding, but I wonder if there’s more at play here than simply wearing makeup or not.

The benefit of the ritual itself

According to research, the average woman spends 11 minutes a day putting on makeup (3). For some, this process can help to calm down any anxiety that the individual may be feeling. This is because the ritual of putting makeup on tends to be structured and routine. Anxiety feeds on uncertainty, so experiencing an event that has a degree of predictability helps to calm down any negative or unhealthy thoughts that may arise (5).

In addition to this, some individuals may even consider putting on their makeup as a form of ‘art therapy’. Art therapy is defined as ‘the belief that self-expression through artistic creation has therapeutic value for those who are healing or seeking deeper understanding of themselves’ (6). The make-up applying process provides individuals with a fun and creative outlet, allowing them to be expressive which may result in mental wellbeing benefits.

We perceive ourselves differently

Some women have been found to perceive themselves differently after applying makeup. Previous work describes a ‘camouflage’ effect that makeup can provide for individuals, which may lead them to perceiving themselves as more desirable. One study (9) found frequency of makeup usage to be positively correlated with self-perceived attractiveness. This suggests those who use makeup more often perceive themselves to be more attractive. 

Another study found similar results (10). In this study, 24 individuals levels of perceived attractiveness and desirability were measured before and after the application of foundation. When considering before and after the foundation application, significant differences were found in participants’ scores on scales measuring perceived attractiveness. Results of this study found individuals to report higher levels of perceived attractiveness, and desirability after the application of makeup. 

It can improve social interactions

In some cases, researchers have found the wearing of makeup to improve the social interactions that an individual has. Previous work has suggested that makeup allows women to better control their social impressions and self-image (7). As a result of this, an individual’s social confidence may be increased, and they may be more open to face-to-face conversation. In one study, results found that women would feel anxious if they would have to go outside without their makeup on and would try to avoid social interactions (8). Sadly, I find these results incredibly relatable.

It may help you to get a better night’s sleep 

Wearing makeup has also been linked to better sleep patterns. One study (4) looked at the effects of makeup usage on the sleeping habits of female Japanese students. Results found that individuals who wore makeup two or more days per week experienced higher quality sleep than others who wore makeup only one day a week or less. The researchers suggested that this could be down to a number of factors including the chemical compounds in makeup or the psychological stimuli of the application process.

But the relationship between cosmetics and mental health isn’t positive for everyone. Previous researchers (11) have suggested that the extended use of makeup in culture today has led to unrealistic images of beauty. These images can result in women feeling anxious, low levels of self-esteem and lower levels of confidence.

Reflecting on the research above, I feel that if you are using makeup you should be sure that its for the right reasons. Be sure to check in with your mental health and assess whether makeup is actually making you feel better mentally, or if you are chasing unrealistic ideas of beauty. Instagram filters may be great news for cosmetics businesses, but maybe not for your own mental health.

What are your experiences regarding makeup and your mental health? Or maybe you have an opinion on the research outlined above?

References

  1. Cash, T. F., & Cash, D. W. (1982). Women’s use of cosmetics: Psychosocial correlates and consequences. International Journal of Cosmetic Science, 4(1), 1-14.
  2. Palumbo, R., Fairfield, B., Mammarella, N., & Di Domenico, A. (2017). Does make-up make you feel smarter? The “lipstick effect” extended to academic achievement. Cogent Psychology, 4(1), 1327635.
  3. Bayless, K. (2019). 7 Reasons Why Wearing Makeup Can Make You a Stronger Woman. Retrieved 24 September 2019, from https://oureverydaylife.com/7-reasons-why-wearing-makeup-can-make-you-a-stronger-woman-10852571.html
  4. Nishihara, R., Wada, K., Akimitsu, O., Krejci, M., Noji, T., Nakade, M., & Harada, T. (2013). Effects of Makeup, Perfume and Skincare Product Usage and Hair Care Regimen on Circadian Typology, Sleep Habits and Mental Health in Female Japanese students Aged 18-30. Psychology, 4(03), 183.
  5. Prinzivalli, L. (2019). Can makeup ease anxiety? This beauty blogger (and her fans) think so. Retrieved 24 September 2019, from
  6. Slayton SC, D’Archer J, Kaplan F. Outcome studies on the efficacy of art therapy: a review of findings. Art Therapy: Journal of the American Art Therapy Association. 22 April 2011; 27(3): 108-118.
  7. Cash, T., Dawson, K., Davis, P., Bowen, M., & Galumbeck, C. (1989). Effects of cosmetics use on the physical attractiveness and body image of american college women. The Journal of Social Psychology. 
  8. Fabricant, S. M., & Gould, S. J. (1993). Women’s Makeup Careers: An Interpretive Study of Color Cosmetic Use and “Face Value.” Psychology & Marketing, 10(6), 531–548.
  9. Guimarães, A. L. C. D. C. (2016). Can we feel prettier?: makeup usage among Portuguese women and Its potential extracted benefits: self-esteem, physical attractiveness, social confidence, social interactions, and satisfaction with life(Doctoral dissertation).
  10. Menezes, M. Facial Makeup and Self-Perception: The Effect of Cosmetics on Self-Esteem and Perceived Attractiveness/Desirability.
  11. Britton, A. M. (2012). The beauty industry’s influence on women in society.