Rejection hurts, there’s no two ways about it. Whether it be career, love or family related, rejection can have a detrimental impact on our mental health. Rejection can make us feel sad and lower our own perceived self-worth. It can even effect our behaviours, as we may even avoid putting ourselves in situations where we feel vulnerable and exposed to it. I have been through my fair share of rejections throughout my life and to be honest, I always find it tough to pick myself back up and carry on. But I am a believer that there is always a reason for rejection, we just don’t see it.
I’m aware that some people won’t believe in fate or concepts like that and I’m not even sure I believe in it fully. I thought I would share my own personal story that changed my views on the world and in particular the way I viewed rejection. I was 18 and full of the joys of life. I was in sixth form and in my spare time I enjoyed playing with my band and practising riffs on my Fender (I used to be too cool). It was that stage of life where I felt I would like to get a part time job; I wanted a bit of extra money (the pocket money just wasn’t cutting it anymore) and I thought it would look good on the old curriculum vitae. There was a music shop by where I lived that was advertising for a part time sales assistant to help out at weekends. I dropped off my CV and I received a call later that day from the store owner asking if I would be available to come to the store and have a chat.
So the next day I visited the store, my dad dropped me off and waited outside. As I entered I was mesmerised by all of the different guitars the shop had (it felt like the nearest thing to heaven to me at the time). I met the owner, a youngish guy (I’d say early twenties) who showed me around the store and then asked me a variety of the standard job interview questions (‘why would you like the job’, ‘what can you offer’ and so on). I left feeling optimistic and already spending the money I was yet to earn on fancy guitar cables and some fluffy purple socks I had seen earlier that day.
A week or so later, I arrived home from school and my parents told me that the music shop had called. Sadly they had offered the job to someone else. I was upset at the time, I think I just went up to my room after dinner and listened to some music all night on my Sony walkman. A couple of weeks later I found a job working for a popular fast food restaurant, so it all worked out in the end and I was able to get those fluffy socks!
It’s a couple of years later now, I’m at university and visiting my parents for the weekend. I turn on the TV and the local news is on. They are talking about a young woman who was kidnapped and kept in an underground dungeon for a week until she was eventually found. Apparently she was kept tied up in a coffin with no light or food, it was really uneasy to watch. They showed a picture of where the girl was held hostage and my heart stopped. It was the music shop that I had visited. They showed a picture of the captor and it was the store owner that I had met, at this point I felt physically sick.
I was so overwhelmed at the time I wasn’t able to take it all in, so I looked for a local news article online about it. Apparently the woman was working part time at the shop when she was kidnapped and held hostage. She had applied at the same time that I had and she had got the job I applied for, I felt a chill run down my spine. She was bound, handcuffed and held prisoner for a number of days, I can’t imagine the pain that she was going through at the time. The shop owner eventually was sent to prison indefinitely for what he did.
I felt like I had a lucky escape, the owner seemed so nice when I met them, but I guess you can never truly know a person. I’ve never known what to make of this event in my life, I feel like it’s the closest to fate that I’ve experienced. It just makes me feel so shaken even now thinking back to it, that could’ve easily been me but thankfully it wasn’t. At the time that rejection hit me so hard, but it’s only years later that I realised that it was a blessing in disguise.
Ever since then, I’ve viewed rejection differently. Sure it hurts at the time and it’s upsetting, but maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. There may be reasons for the rejection that we don’t understand or that won’t come to light for a while but we have to carry on with our lives the best we can.
I guess you just have to trust in yourself that everything will work itself out in the end.
Have you had any experiences with rejection and fate? I would love to start a discussion below 🙂