My Experiences

Just a story about growing carrots

One day I decided to start growing some carrots. It was something I’d wanted to do for some time but it took me a while to gather the courage to put my plan into action. I made sure that I felt prepared; I spent hours reading all about sowing seeds, watched numerous youtube videos on plant care and gathered all of the things I required from the shops. I was excited that I was finally going to grow some carrots.

It was a gorgeous summers day. Alongside the daylight breeze, I sowed the seeds to the best of my ability. Each day after this I ensured that I watered them, keeping an eye on their progress. About two weeks later, my hard work appeared to be paying off – a few seedlings started to appear, followed by a few more until there were rows upon rows of them. I felt a huge sense of pride and I looked forward to seeing them each day, growing and ageing as the summer progressed.

One morning I walked to the top of my garden, smiling in anticipation of greeting my crops, but I was instead greeted by shock. Where there had once been seedlings, there was chaos. Rows upon rows of defeated and ruined seedlings. I stood there, processing what had happened, but also questioning how it had even happened at all. All of the hard work and preparation of the last month was destroyed before my eyes, ripped apart in a matter of minutes. I blamed myself, I felt like I could’ve done more and that the situation occurred as a result of my inability. I felt deflated and couldn’t bear to look at the vegetable patch, it was just a constant reminder of how I had failed. I found myself withdrawing from the garden, questioning the point of trying to grow anything in the first place as it obviously wasn’t working out.

The next Monday I woke up with a more positive energy and decided to give the carrots another go. I read a bit more information online and considered the advice of other gardeners from internet forums. It appears that my carrots may have been the victims of some cheeky little birds. I researched how to protect my carrots and better prepare myself for the next attempt. The next day I sowed more seeds and considering my new gained knowledge, added a fabric mesh over the top of them. Once again I would water and monitor the seeds each day and sure enough, the seedlings appeared again. But this time the seedlings surpassed their previous size, growing and developing each day until they were ready for picking.

Reflecting upon the past, I realised that what happened was out of my control at that time (cheeky birds), but the experience allowed me to learn and expand my knowledge so I was better prepared for the next time. Now each day I look at my lovely carrots not only smiling with joy because of their pure existence, but also appreciating the journey that it took to get them here. It didn’t work out the first time around, but I tried again and I’m so glad that I did.

For some, they may consider this story to be a metaphor. They may see it as an example of how an individual can grow, recover from setbacks and come back stronger. But really, this is just a story about growing carrots.

Advice and tips

Rethinking Valentines Day – Showing appreciation to your own mind and wellbeing

So today is Valentines day, a day where you are meant to celebrate your nearest and dearest and just how much you love them. In the past some have been quick to describe this day as ‘made up consumerist rubbish’, and I guess to a point I would agree with them. I’ve never believed that spending money on someone is a good way to show your love to your significant other, but I do think it’s nice to have a day dedicated to love. For many, they will be treating their partners, friends and family today; showering them with gifts or taking them out somewhere gorgeous. But I think today is just as much about showing yourself some love, regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not.

I thought for this post I could provide some ways of appreciating your self and your mind today. You and your mind have come a long way together and it’s a relationship that should be celebrated. Here’s some ways to appreciate your mind today:

1) Feed it

Our minds love learning new stuff. Studies have found learning new skills to increase the density the white matter in your brain and stimulate neurons, allowing electrical impulses to travel faster around your mind. As a result, regularly feeding your mind can help you learn better and improve your performance in tasks. So why not have a go at reading a book about something that has always fascinated you? or maybe you could take up french lessons or teach yourself an instrument. Whatever you decide to do, just remember as the saying goes – Knowledge is power.

2) Stop making comparisons

Take a day off watching others. So Brenda is flaunting her new flashy sports car on instagram while you can barely afford your Road Tax, good for her. As the saying goes, ‘Comparison is the thief of happiness’. Give your mind a break and take today to make some self-comparisons instead. Think about and even make a list of all of the amazing things you’ve achieved in the last year, no matter how small they may seem to you. You’ve done a great job! (No sports car needed).

3) Make time to do something you love

Life can be tough, so everybody deserves to take part in something that they enjoy on a daily basis. Whether that be having a game of tennis with a friend, or just indulging in some ice-cream in front of some really rubbish TV show, you should take some time out to treat yourself for getting through this week still in one piece.

4) Practise positive thinking

When I say positive thinking I don’t mean you have to be optimistic 100% of the time, because thats just not realistic. But it may be helpful to try and reframe some of your unpleasant thoughts in a more positive light. For example if you fail at something like a test, it can be common to feel that you are not ever going to get better at it. Try and see each failure as a learning experience, reflect on what you have learnt and how you can improve for next time. More information on positive thinking and further examples can be found here. I do this with each and every job interview I do and it makes me feel less stressed and encourages me to continue on with my job search.

5) Take the time to fully relax

Many of us say we are relaxing, but when are we truly relaxing? Just because you are sitting down doesn’t mean you are relaxing as much as you could be. Why not try a bit of meditation today (the headspace app is great) or even just lay down in a quiet place, take in some fresh air and listen to the sound of nature around you. If you live in a more urban environment, you could relax and listen to some nature sounds through headphones. Whatever you find the most peaceful thing to do, try to take a few minutes out daily to truly relax.

6) Get an early night!

This one is pretty self-explanatory. There has been loads and loads of studies showing the positive effect that sleep can have on our mental wellbeing. How much sleep we need for our minds to function at their best varies from person-to-person, but 7 – 9 hours is generally recommended. The weekend is the perfect time to look after your mind and catch up on your 40 winks.

I will definitely be following my own advice and showing my mind a bit of appreciation today, it’s been through a bit of a rough time the past couple of weeks so it deserves it. I hope you all have a nice day, regardless of what you get up to, I’m going to have a power nap now I think 🙂

research

Sun, Sea and Self-doubt – The effect of reality TV and social media on self-image

I thought in this post we could explore the concept of body image and influences upon this. The theory behind our own perceptions of our body image seems increasingly relevant right now for a couple of reasons. Firstly, many of us will have made new years goals in an attempt to change how we look and feel about ourselves. This may include exercising more or giving up something that we feel is bad for our health.

Secondly, this Sunday marks the start of the biggest reality TV show in the UK right now – Love island. For those who are not aware of the format of the show, Love island brings together a group of people in a sunny villa somewhere lovely and hot. Most of these people appear to be young and what popular culture deems to be ‘attractive’ at the time. They all enter the villa looking for love, and I believe couples are made and challenged with the arrival of more young ‘attractive’ people throughout the series. I’ve never personally watched the show (apart from the one time a woman was watching it on the train next to me) so I can’t pass judgement upon it. But I thought I would explore the effects of this type of reality TV and the social media that surrounds it has on individuals behaviours with reference to their perceived self-image.

Watching shows like Love island can have a detrimental effect on our mental health and how we feel about our own bodies. As humans, we have a natural desire to make social comparisons. This means if we are unsure about something, we will look to others to determine our own social and personal worth based on how we stack up against others.

Seeing the contestants on Love island and their apparent ‘success’ from being on the show, a lot of people may place them in high regard and look to them to show them how to behave. The problem here is that the type of people that are contestants on the show demonstrate a lack of body diversity, with most being muscly and super-slim. Some may look at the bodies of the contestants and feel insecure about themselves. The shows boss has recently defended their casting decisions, stating that  contestants were chosen by the producers to represent an “aspirational version” of the show’s audience (Link here).

But what thought is given to viewers when suggesting these types of aspirations? The Mental Health Foundation recently ran a survey on body image. In their survey they found that seeing images of ‘ideal’ bodies can contribute to people feeling more distress and shame about their own body, if it does not match up to the presented aspirational ideal (Link here). Further to this, they found that 23% of 18-24 year olds said they had experienced suicidal thoughts and feelings because of concerns in relation to their body image. Fifteen percent said they had self-harmed or deliberately hurt themselves because of concerns about their body image. As a result of higher levels of body dissatisfaction, an individual may experience a poorer quality of life, psychological distress and be at risk of starting unhealthy eating behaviours.

With contestants going on to have very successful careers in social media afterwards, their influence expands way further than just the programme itself. It’s not unusual for contestants to be paid by companies to promote diet programmes, makeup and skincare on their social media platforms. But this can lead to their followers feeling inadequate and less worthy because they feel their body doesn’t look a certain way. More than a third of 18-24 year olds (34%) said images used in advertising and promotion on social media made them worry about their body image (Link here). An article from the NHS last week states that there has been a 37% rise in hospital admissions for eating disorders in just two years (link here). Claire Murdoch, national mental health director for the NHS said that individuals mental health was being damaged by “massive pressures about body image, fuelled through social media”.

‘In a Society That Profits From Your Self-Doubt, Liking Yourself Is a Rebellious Act’

As programmes like Love island carry on getting ever more popular, it’s even more important to spread the word and promote positive body image. Everyone has the right to feel at home and comfortable in the body they were born in. Below I’ve linked some great instagram accounts that I follow that actively promote self-love and acceptance, so feel free to follow them if you would like to:

https://www.instagram.com/i_weigh/?hl=en – I Weigh is a campaign about radical inclusivity.
https://www.instagram.com/dontcallmepretty_/?hl=en – Big on promoting self-love.
https://www.instagram.com/theinsecuregirlsclub/?hl=en – A space which promotes empowerment through embracing vulnerabilities.
https://www.instagram.com/peterdevito/?hl=en – A inspirational and inclusive photographer